Barrack-Room Ballads · Rudyard Kipling

Chapter 30: Bill 'Awkins

“'As anybody seen Bill 'Awkins?” “Now 'ow in the devil would I know?” “'E's taken my girl out walkin', An' I've got to tell 'im so-- Gawd—bless—'im! I've got to tell 'im so.”

“D'yer know what 'e's like, Bill 'Awkins?” “Now what in the devil would I care?” “'E's the livin', breathin' image of an organ-grinder's monkey, With a pound of grease in 'is 'air-- Gawd—bless—'im! An' a pound o' grease in 'is 'air.”

“An' s'pose you met Bill 'Awkins, Now what in the devil 'ud ye do?” “I'd open 'is cheek to 'is chin-strap buckle, An' bung up 'is both eyes, too-- Gawd—bless—'im! An' bung up 'is both eyes, too!”

“Look 'ere, where 'e comes, Bill 'Awkins! Now what in the devil will you say?” “It isn't fit an' proper to be fightin' on a Sunday, So I'll pass 'im the time o' day-- Gawd—bless—'im! I'll pass 'im the time o' day!”